To everything I knew

To familiarity

To routine

It is going to be hard to start over, to head to the unknown and try again. They say you never know what you have until it is gone but this time it stings and cuts like a knife.

I do not like being send into the unknown and unfamiliar. This time is going to be different, this time I have to be stronger, this time I have to swallow the pain and push to move forward. This time Goodbye is going to be different. I would not make the same decision that can land me in the same situation again. This time I would transform to a butterfly.

I know this happened for a reason and the reason would show up one day. I am in pain yet again, life has once again hurt my heart and old wounds that I thought was healed is showing up again.

This time I will address this situation, this time I will admit, I am wrong for letting myself get too comfortable and allowing life to drive me to a wall. I will admit I didn’t put myself in the driver seat this rounds. I will take the driver seat and take charge of my life I will leave this situation with my head high and always remember I am worth more than what life throws at me with a curve-ball.

This is my opportunity to shine, and I will so will each person who reads this and feel totally defeated by life. We will move forward from a caterpillar to a butterfly.

We attract what we think and every situation creates a reaction so remember when life throws at you a curve-ball or lemon. You can take that situation and create your own destiny. Every obstacle to a opportunity and every failure as a stepping stone closer to success.

Close the door, stop banging on it trying to open it back. Leave it alone and move on, this time really say goodbye. This time accept what is, embrace what you feel, forgive yourself and say goodbye.

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” 
― 
Maya Angelou

One of the hardest lessons anyone has to learn is to trust that everything around us will work out for the best. We love to be in control no matter the situation, we love to know what is next, many of us hate the unknown.

Trusting that everything will work out for the best. Trusting that the Universe is on our side. Trusting a love one after betrayal. Trusting yourself sometimes can even be hard because we are all afraid of the unknown at times.

In the end we have to trust that things will work out, that the universe is on our side and those that hurt us will run their course in our lives. We will learn to trust ourselves, our mental awareness will get tougher and we will have to face the unknown. Some of us will thrive and some will fall but eventually they will pick themselves up. Life is about trusting the universe, ourselves and others that things do work out for the best , although we may not see it now.

Trust can be hard and sometimes painful but it can lead us to that breakthrough moment we all have been waiting for in life. There are many sayings that can heal wounds and aid with trusting our life journey but there is one that always stands out to me the most.

Proverbs: 5- 6 – 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

This passage always helps whenever I feel unsure about anything next and whenever I feel in the wilderness and lost. At times we have to learn to trust and let go of trying to control everything around us. I will admit this is hard but it is possible, only when we let go and trust the process , the journey of life.

Life leads us in many roads and at times we just have to trust and let go and not lean on our own understanding.

This year went by fast, I will not even sugar coat this statement. I feel like I just ended 2017 and 2019 knocking on my door too fast. Where did the time go?

I would admit this year a lot has happened and I have also been in a rush. I have learned a lot and grown a lot as a person. I have also been in a rush a lot, I have basically been rushing everything, even to the point I decided to put my watch 20 minutes faster than the actual time.

Today I decided to have my watch right, with the right time so I wont be rushing. I am not a morning person so I am not even going to lie to myself about reaching anywhere early. If I am running late, so be it I won’t be speeding down the highway, breaking the orange light to reach ” on time” . I have been rushing , rushing , rushing away and time have just passed away.

I will embrace every moment, take each minute, hours and days with gratitude. 2019 is my year to shine, step out my comfort zone and begin to slow down. It’s not a race to the finish line.

I have no new year resolutions and have no intentions to create one. 2019 I am looking forward to new challenges, improving myself, living a full life, exploring this mysterious world, forgiving, letting go and taking everything slowly.

2018 was a rush, a beautiful rush that almost broke me . Honestly, 2018 was a tough year that had me rushing and panicking. 2019 I would not let time pass and let the clock tick away with my life.

To let go.

To move on.

To begin again

It may hurt but in the long run it will strengthen and change you. As we begin to look into the new year ahead and reflect on 2018, let us get the strength to declutter anything in our lives that no longer serves you.

The bad habits.

The toxic people.

The negative thinking.

Procrastinating.

Living to others expectations and not ours .

Not speaking up.

Settling.

These are a few things many allow to control their lives. For me I have to gain the strength not speaking up, settling and trying to meet everyone expectations. It hasn’t done me any good to this day. We all have something we need to let go and find the strength to move on from today.