This can be one of the most horrific feelings anyone can face. The agony,the shame,the disgrace and the pain. It can all come rushing down and hit you bang in the face.

Many of us suffer with this day by day and have no idea how to face any of this by the day. It can be eating away at our skin and our pain can be so deep it cuts like a knife. Many would say I live with so many expectations, that at times I forgot how it feels to actually fail. So, when this hits you in the front page your heart can’t take it anymore.

My eyes, oh my eyes, the pain I feel from crying out my eyes. I know so many feel this pain because we live in a world in so much pain. That we forgot when we actually end up in pain we can’t even manage to lift up our heads to see the vail.

Time and time again, we would fail but we have to find a way to mold it away. I wish I had a pill that says, it will pass away but I know it will be a lie after some time. Living with pain is a hell of a thing, that when it actually goes away we forget, that actually one day we have to deal with all of this again.

So I would say when it comes to facing failures and pain we have to find a way to deal with all of it. When we do figure it out, remember to lift your head and move on. All the sweet words of time heals everything , and everything happens for a reason is all nicely said to all. But we all know when something tragic happens, it is hard to fall asleep at night.

All the prayers and quotes can give us a push to move forward but in the end it is up to us to really want to move forward. Many talk about all the success many got but they always seem to forget to mention the amount of failures they had to endure to get where they are to this day. So don’t get too tied up with most success stories and always remember to ask how they got to that point.

Take back up your life and wipe away those tears because no one actually cares what you are doing with your time. Most just want something to talk about and many want one just one to take that jump.

Do what you want and if you fail many times. Just know that at least you tried. This life is full of many disguises and one of them is making everyone feel like they have to wear a disguise for all.

This is your life to live and failure and pain is all of part of it but know when you have made it. You have really made it and most of the times it is because of failure and pain and you understand the true meaning of life.

Much love everyone.

I had a experience where my dogs ran out. They was out in the road running all over giving me a serious anxiety attack. This is the third time they have done this to me and each time I get a serious anxiety attack.

My love for my dogs is huge they are like my babies, they mean the world to me. But whenever they run out my heart always skips many beats. The scare I get when I think I will never see them again because they are part of my heart. The thought they will be running all over is quite a nightmare to me.

This time they really had my heart racing, I had to be running up and down the street. They even got in a fight in the road, and my gosh this was the worse part of it all. My three females fighting one another in the road for no apparent reason at all. There was so much blood and yet still although they was all fighting they still ran away and was up and down the street.

This had me in quite a flight, my heart could not handle any of it. Thankfully there was some nice neighbors who came to help me and after a half hour of running behind my babies I got them inside.

This was quite a experience and one I do not want to face again. It was a lesson learned but the most important aspect of all of this is there are many good people out there. Two of my neighbors who helped are dog trainers and was able to get my wild dogs back inside.

It was quite a event and I will admit this was one that had my heart skipping a lot of beats.

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” 
― 
Maya Angelou

One of the hardest lessons anyone has to learn is to trust that everything around us will work out for the best. We love to be in control no matter the situation, we love to know what is next, many of us hate the unknown.

Trusting that everything will work out for the best. Trusting that the Universe is on our side. Trusting a love one after betrayal. Trusting yourself sometimes can even be hard because we are all afraid of the unknown at times.

In the end we have to trust that things will work out, that the universe is on our side and those that hurt us will run their course in our lives. We will learn to trust ourselves, our mental awareness will get tougher and we will have to face the unknown. Some of us will thrive and some will fall but eventually they will pick themselves up. Life is about trusting the universe, ourselves and others that things do work out for the best , although we may not see it now.

Trust can be hard and sometimes painful but it can lead us to that breakthrough moment we all have been waiting for in life. There are many sayings that can heal wounds and aid with trusting our life journey but there is one that always stands out to me the most.

Proverbs: 5- 6 – 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

This passage always helps whenever I feel unsure about anything next and whenever I feel in the wilderness and lost. At times we have to learn to trust and let go of trying to control everything around us. I will admit this is hard but it is possible, only when we let go and trust the process , the journey of life.

Life leads us in many roads and at times we just have to trust and let go and not lean on our own understanding.

“Your mind is everything. What you think you become. ” – Buddha

Our thoughts is a powerful tool that can direct our life and determine if we can become a product of greatness or negativity.

We must always make it our task to protect our energies around us and surround ourselves with people and situations that will fill your cup. Never let the bitterness of this world get the better of you as, each of us have a individual right to harvest greatness and send out positive vibes to the universe.

I believe and have learned what you think you become as many successful and spiritual leaders have taught. To stay on a level head of peace and tranquility we must not engage in gossip, negative conversations or partake in any sort of news that may switch your energy.

We live in a angry world if you really continually look at the negative side but if you stop and look and see the beauty in this world you would be amazed. There are many great leaders, motivators and situations happening around us daily that makes many smile. A simple moment as a birth of child, a team winning a football match or a teenager helping a elderly woman crossing the road are moments that take your breath away. These are the simple moments that make a huge difference in many lives.

Let excellence be your brand and to cultivate this you have to think of greatness and surround yourself with greatness. Watch your peers, your conversations , even your eating habits all these routines have a effect on your mental and spiritual health. Make a list daily of what you are thankful for, if you are having a hard time thinking of anything just remember you have life, and that’s a second chance to make a change.

Let us look deep within ourselves to find our true purpose and find the passion that burns within us to reach our highest self. If you haven’t found your passion push to reach a goal. List a goal and persuade it with your fullest. If you fail you are getting closer to your ultimate goal and greatest potential. You will find that passion and that flame .

Always put God first, that higher source,that ultimate help. He will guide you with your energies, passion, flame and purpose. Always be thankful and grateful this will aid in protecting your energies and thinking.

Remember greatness is the goal and always think of the ultimate goal. Never dwell in what you do not have and always put your mind on your vision, your future and reaching that target. What you think, you become and we should all think I am greatness.

Billy, was a orphan and experienced a hard life. He didn’t know love and grew up without knowing any kind of love. Growing up he never knew his parents and always wondered who they were as he was abandoned as a baby.

He was told his mom was a drug addict and his dad was in jail and unreachable. This broke Billy heart he couldn’t wrap his mind around any of this, all he wanted was to know who he was and where he came from in life. He would despise other children in school as he would have no one to drop and pick him up from school or no one to attend his parents teacher meeting.

It was always a social worker or a nun from the orphanage. No one wanted him, no family wanted to adopt him because he was fighting in school and even bite a few kids. His rage was huge and he was a love less little boy. He would put all his rage in art. He could draw and his paintings was always dark , teachers was always concerned and the sisters in the orphanage was scared with his paintings, he would see himself as a wolf or a monster because he didn’t know what to believe with himself anymore.

Billy was crying in the night, at times he would cut himself and in school he never passed a class. He experienced his life in total rage and couldn’t find a way out he was crying for help. He needed help at a tender age of 10 Billy was ready to give up on it all.

No birthday celebrations, no one to play with, no gifts and no friends. Why am I even here he would ask himself. No one cares and he was ready to give up. One day he got a rope and was ready to hang himself like in the movies he always saw. He got that rope and was ready to end it all.

Then something happened he felt a lick on his feet. And there he was Rex his dog, his only friend he would talk to him and tell him everything. He looked into his eyes and saw the look of concern and immediately he dropped the rope picked him up and took him inside.

The thought of death totally left his mind and he felt a warmth in his heart. He never felt this before and from that moment Rex his dog saved his life from hanging by that rope.

This year went by fast, I will not even sugar coat this statement. I feel like I just ended 2017 and 2019 knocking on my door too fast. Where did the time go?

I would admit this year a lot has happened and I have also been in a rush. I have learned a lot and grown a lot as a person. I have also been in a rush a lot, I have basically been rushing everything, even to the point I decided to put my watch 20 minutes faster than the actual time.

Today I decided to have my watch right, with the right time so I wont be rushing. I am not a morning person so I am not even going to lie to myself about reaching anywhere early. If I am running late, so be it I won’t be speeding down the highway, breaking the orange light to reach ” on time” . I have been rushing , rushing , rushing away and time have just passed away.

I will embrace every moment, take each minute, hours and days with gratitude. 2019 is my year to shine, step out my comfort zone and begin to slow down. It’s not a race to the finish line.

I have no new year resolutions and have no intentions to create one. 2019 I am looking forward to new challenges, improving myself, living a full life, exploring this mysterious world, forgiving, letting go and taking everything slowly.

2018 was a rush, a beautiful rush that almost broke me . Honestly, 2018 was a tough year that had me rushing and panicking. 2019 I would not let time pass and let the clock tick away with my life.

To let go.

To move on.

To begin again

It may hurt but in the long run it will strengthen and change you. As we begin to look into the new year ahead and reflect on 2018, let us get the strength to declutter anything in our lives that no longer serves you.

The bad habits.

The toxic people.

The negative thinking.

Procrastinating.

Living to others expectations and not ours .

Not speaking up.

Settling.

These are a few things many allow to control their lives. For me I have to gain the strength not speaking up, settling and trying to meet everyone expectations. It hasn’t done me any good to this day. We all have something we need to let go and find the strength to move on from today.

Once upon a time on a Christmas eve night a child was in a orphanage who never celebrated a Christmas with any family or friends. He was bullied in school and had no one to call family. Each year he will look outside and see children playing with their new toys and enjoying the precious moments with their closest family and friends.

At that moment he would ask himself would I ever be able to experience a true Christmas the way I see others. He felt lonely, depressed and completely hopeless as each year passed it was the same story. One Christmas eve night he made a wish on a star , his wish was to be happy and loved. He wanted a family, a friend, a mentor basically anyone as he never knew what love is from the start.

In school everyone would share there experience or bring gifts for one another and he would crave to know what this feeling is like. He never knew what a hug feels like, a warm smile, receiving anything from anyone or knowing about a Christmas cheer. He only knew what everyone else told him and what he saw outside that window. No one ever opened a door to him for this season as he was looked at as just a orphan.

So, each year on Christmas Eve night he made one wish. Hoping one day his wish could be granted.

Today’s World can throw anyone over the edge if we allow this to happen.

Expectations and comparisons are two of the biggest pains of today’s world. Each day someone is faced with comparison to someone who we think has it all put together. While others are put under pressure of reaching other people expectations which can be unrealistic or become unbearable for many.

It makes many wonder why depression, violence and hate is so strongly existence in our world. Many have become frustrated with there day to day lives they cannot stop to think of another feelings. Many cannot even stop to help a neighbor or worse yet a stranger because we are so caught up in our lives. Trying to meet today’s world expectations and comparing ourselves to almost everyone who seems to have it all put together. When in reality non of us have it figured out because our world changes daily and we have to change our outlook at our lives.

We have to change in small ways that can build a better world. Changes start with each one of us, first accepting we all have different life paths. This will help us stop comparing ourselves to one another. Second small change can be setting our own expectations and letting others know what we can contribute to change situations around us.

Speak up and let your voice be heard even if it stirs up a room. In the end you will be heard for your views and set a tone in any situation that can allow you to have some control.

One of my hopes for 2019 is for peace, happiness and love within our world. Many of us are surrounded by so much hate we have lost ourselves. So many have become so drawn out by our lives we can no longer smile, enjoy a meal with family or find our inner child within us anymore. We have become so caught up in wars, politics and negativity. No wonder so many suffer with anxiety and depression rates are so high around the world.